You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nicole vs. Life
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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