Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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