Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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