Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
