she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
