yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
