tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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