tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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