I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
