I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
