Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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