I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
honey bunches of taint.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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