is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
