I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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