I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
