I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
