If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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