i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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