Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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