So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
