sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
