so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
