I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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