you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
