So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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