dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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