Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
