Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
