is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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