It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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