I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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