Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
