Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
