I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
