I think I am morally bankrupt
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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