So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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