Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
