i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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