never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
