So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
