I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
