you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
