my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
