operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
