i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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