I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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