I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just gift wrapped bread.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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