He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
