Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
