That's intense
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
two words: eviction party
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
