i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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